you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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