yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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