Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
