This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
