upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
