Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Those balls look pretty dangerous.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
