the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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