More tranny stories later!
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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