smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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