I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
