I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
