Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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