just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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