The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
