Jerry, you need to find god
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
