i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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