awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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