I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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