And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
