So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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