Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
