I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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