Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
