in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Is it because I queefed?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
