Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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