her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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