think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
