pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
