:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
