u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
