I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We're too hungover to prance.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
