i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
