nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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