Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
