dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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