I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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