Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
