Sry I called you an 8
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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