apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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