I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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