I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
