3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
