You can't motorboat a personality
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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