I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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