i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
