it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
two words...techno handjob
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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