its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
