my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Watching her eat just hurts me
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
