can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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