theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
