This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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