I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
