i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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