After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
