Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
