Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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