Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
