id be glad to
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My breasts were aching with rage.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
