And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
