Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize