saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
