; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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