So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize