He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
