This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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