It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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