4 words: hood of his car
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
