You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
