the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
