Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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