i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
